Red Tape

Sign here, date here,
And here please write an obscure number that you were given for your 14th birthday
And told to keep safe.
Here, please provide us with a form of identification you do not have.
Or failing that,
Two forms of identification you do not have.

Enclose a passport photo of yourself
Not more than 3 days old
In which you must be wearing any one of the pre-approved colours listed in appendix 3b.
Photos not reminiscent of the living dead may be returned.
Or may not,
We like to keep you guessing.

Section 10 must be countersigned by somebody you:
Do not live with
Are not related to
Have never worked with
Do not know.
You must have known them for at least forever.
(If nobody meets these criteria, your parents will be accepted,
If they can both independently guess what number I'm thinking right now.)

This form will be returned to you within a working week
But we won't tell you why.