Lost on the boundary

I'm looking to my Lord,
And nothing's any clearer.
Ineffable as ever,
But still I'm one step nearer.
At least, I think I'm getting there,
As hope replaces deep despair...

A God who claims to hear a
Voice cry in the wilderness,
I think that voice is me.
Lost on the boundary of understanding.

Heartbeat

Your heartbeat
Warm, strong drumbeat
Soft loud bloodbeat
Safe and clear.
Your heartbeat
Steady pulsebeat
Silent thudbeat
Felt so near.
Fewer questions that your eyes have,
More focus than your hands,
More restful than your ever-moving mind.
No demand, no attention,
Just quiet and feel it now.
Listen.

Remember

Do you remember what you told me
The first time we ever met,
That your best days were behind you
And I hadn't had mine yet?
But now I've heard your stories
About what you've seen and done.
I envy you those memories,
For mine might never come.

You know as well as I do
They could call time tonight.
Our only chance to steal this dance
Could fall into the night.

Remember what I told you
That winter, by the bay,
That we should take things slowly
So we don't get swept away?
I'm not sure I believe that,
And I've fallen pretty hard.
If things went wrong between us,
There's no doubt that I'd be scarred.

You know as well as I do
It's too late to turn around.
We've jumped and now we're flying,
Will we ever hit the ground?

Transformation

I'm becoming something different
Underneath your hand
Changing form and function in ways I can't understand
Improving, evolving
With each thing I learn
Never quite knowing which way I will turn.
It doesn't feel safe,
But it sure is exciting
My life a blank book that I'm day-by-day writing;
And you are the reason
The real inspiration
I thank you, soul-deep, for this new transformation.

Hope

I confess there's been times
my life has been
So damn stressful, even my weekends
Just aren't restful,
no peace of mind
and none to find
it's left behind.
But best of all, the rest of all my memories fade to grey
Hard to say how or why or when they faded
Left me jaded
Afraid it's gonna stay this way.
I find it's kind of deadening,
my heart a leaden thing
but

I lift my head and sing
Of better things
with angel's wings
that lift me high
to all that I
try to be -
Alive and free
In ivory clouds I fly.

I'll look back, gaze
on the black days
that attack in ways so crushing
Remember the hush of the rushing night
and see I was right
To wait for light to come in sight,

I'm saved by His might.

Come home
It's been too long.
Come home,
It's so easy to miss you
When you were the colour in every day
Now that's faded to grey

To be honest

When left to my own devices
When I'm in the house all alone
I can be myself, do whatever I want,
Ignore social convention
And do the dishes topless.

When nobody's looking my way,
I grin.
Because I know what I'm thinking.
It doesn't even have to be interesting,
But it's a secret, my secret,
And it gives me great satisfaction.

Don't worry. As soon as this poem ends,
I'll close the window into my head
And be respectable
And normal
And thank you for your patience
While I sneak out a little honesty.