Champ

Champ the three-legged granny-napping dog
Hangs round the nursing home.
He steals the lady pensioners
Like most dogs steal a bone.
He buries them in his back yard,
Their heads above the ground,
And there they'll stay until the day
Those grandmothers get found.

Champ the three-legged baby-saving dog
Will run headfirst through flames;
Mortal peril, falling walls,
He treats them just like games.
And when he's saved those babies,
He isn't even burned.
But they withhold his prize of gold
Till those grannies get returned.

Champ the three-legged solent-swimming dog
Can brave the fiercest storm
To make it to the Isle of Wight
(The place where he was born).
He could battle sharks and ferries
And he wouldn't even tire,
He travels the seas when not stealing grannies
Or saving babies from the fire.

Champ the three-legged superhero dog
Leaps kennels in one bound.
He flies faster than a speeding bullet,
He beats the speed of sound.
He has super x-ray MeatVision,
He wins in every fight,
He breaks down doors with his bare paws.
But his weakness is Marmite.
(It's like his Kryptonite.)

Champ the three-legged wonder dog
Is going to the vet's,
Where many dogs before him
Have become neutered pets.
I think he's lost his powers,
Although he looks quite fine,
They held him down and went to town
And now Champ's a normal canine.
My totally normal, un-super, powerless,
Granny-napping, baby-saving, solent-swimming friend.
The End.