New Girl

- New Girl -

I don't like your girlfriend, I don't think it's fair.
She's new on the scene but I've always been there.
Our friendship has lasted 'coz we worked it through;
She argues, she bitches, how *did* she get you?!

What's-her-name, new girl, the one that you chose,
Spreading her trouble wherever she goes.
You're just a fool with a cheap plastic jewel,
Mistaking a thorn for a rose.

I don't like your girlfriend; she doesn't like me.
She's making you choose between us, can't you see?
Don't get me wrong, I would love to be friends,
But I've seen this before and that's not how it ends.

What's-her-name, new girl; you're starting to care
Like she has stars in her eyes and her hair.
Which she doesn't, you know, and it's starting to show;
Your lovely romance has a tear.

I don't like your girlfriend and neither do you.
You kind of still love her; I get it, I do,
But you're staying in when you would have gone out,
No wonder you're wondering, starting to doubt.

What's-her-name, new girl, she's not heaven sent.
I said she was evil - that's not what I meant.
You know that it's true, that she's not good for you,
Now it's time that she packed up and went!

You've now left your girlfriend, or she has left you.
All that's for certain is, now that you're through,
I'm getting to see you around so much more,
As empty and lonely as you were before.

What's-her-name, new girl, your angel on ice.
She's not very pretty. She isn't that nice.
But you say she's the one, and cry now she's gone,
So... if you want my advice...

I don't like your girlfriend, but it seems to be
Now that I know her, she's growing on me.
I have to admit that I didn't expect that,
But now that you're married I guess I'll respect that.